Adventures in Father Sitting.

Ah...what trip back home would not be complete without a Father/Son project. On the menu for today: Air Conditioner. Not just any a/c but the one protruding from the wall of my room. The problem with this a/c is that Father had installed it without a rear plate that stops heavy rain from getting into the unit. Without this rear panel, water sort of just pours into the room, flooding it when it *rains sideways* (said as Forrest Gump).

My father was retelling how the unit was installed without this panel:

Father: "Son, the cabron, hijo de la gran puta guy sent me a fucking retard to help me install the a/c. AND! He sold me the wrong cover for the back!"

Me: "So...why did you install it any way?"

Father: "It was my lack of wanting to work and the retarded idiots incompetence that made me want to finish as soon as possible!"

Me: "So, basically, it was the same as when we tried to install that back up camera on your car? The one that I could have fixed very easily if you had let me check the fuses, but you refused and took the car to the dealership and they charged you 75$ to replace a blown fuse?"

Father: No. (This was said in that sort of matter of fact end of the conversation way that he says no.)

So, after unscrewing some heavy duty concrete screws by hand with a pair of locking pliers, we remove the a/c box sheath we examine how to attach something that does not want to attach because it is the wrong panel for the box. Father gets his drill and some drill bits, then he misplaces the drill bit box and demands to know what I did with it. I told him I could not help him because I didn't see the box nor where he placed it. This starts a while conversation about how I am unfit for a job because I will tell my boss, "Sorry, I can't help you." to any question or request my fictional employer would ask of me.

Father: (Pretending to be my boss) "Daniel, could you get this for me?"
(Pretending to be me) "Sorry, I can't help you."
(Pretending to be my boss) "YOU ARE FIRED, MOTHERFUCKER! FIRED!"

This goes on for about 20 min as he goes about more scenarios of me saying I can't help you, and my boss firing me.

Then I tell him that we should be working more efficiently because he was arbitrarily drilling holes into the panel and attaching them with nuts and bolts to the box. I told him:
Me: "4 would do in specific areas to reinforce the panel, Pop."

Father: "Oh yeah. You are LAZY, Son. LAZY!"

Me: "Because I want to make this efficient?"

Father: "ANY employer would listen to you say that and say, 'This guy is LAZY!'"

Me: "Trust me, Father, 6 bolts is inefficient and excessive. 4 would hold this thing even during a hurricane, but then again a hurricane might just pull out the whole unit."

Father: "YOU know NOTHING about hurricanes! I KNOW more about hurricanes than you do!"

Me: "Umm...Father, geologist? I highly doubt that."

Anyway, we installed the panel and returned the a/c to the wall, but now Father wants to make the unit a little more flush with the wall and wants to insert a wood block into the gap in the wall then spray it with expanding foam sealant. Oh yes, tomorrow will be a fun day.