Living with Father: Part 2

So, a while ago my balls started to ache for a little bit. It was quite annoying. I asked my father for his advice. This is what I got:

Me: Father my balls kind of hurt.

Father: You need to masturbate more.

Me: Gee, thanks Pop. Perhaps I should see a doctor about this.

Father: Ok, you need your prostate checked. I will make an appointment for you with Chinea*.

Me: I don't know about that father, I kind of don't like the idea of a friend of yours taking that route with me.

Father: Don't give me that SHIT, Son. If the doctor sticks his DICK in your ASS then you should be worried, but if he is using his finger you have nothing to worry about. It is a medical procedure.


*(Note: Chinea is my fathers friend. This guy is a close talker and savagely hates the United States to the point of irrationality. He is also a freaking millionaire and lives in an amazing apartment with an ocean view. His other house is on the beach. He is a funny guy, but obnoxious and stubborn when he gets drunk. )

Let me give you an example of Chinea and you will understand why my father likes the guy.

Saturday Night, Father and I went to Chinea's place to watch the De La Hoya/Mayweather fight. As father pushes the buzzer for the apartment, the speaker squeals and says, "Helo?"

Father: "¿Este es la apartamento de Chinea?"

Chinea: "Si, cabron! Pendejo!"

BZZZZZ and the door is opened. The female security guard, who overheard the conversation, is laughing and shaking her head as we walk toward the elevators.

I won 2$ from Chinea that night. Always bet on black! I knew Mayweather was going to win. De la Hoya just does not have it anymore. It was disappointing to watch as he would flail about wildly like a man at a picnic being attacked by a bee. Much like us laughing at bee man thrash, so to did Mayweather laugh at Oscar. I got my dollar I lost to Chinea betting on the Superbowl (Useless Bears). I feel vindicated.