Adventures in Soap Making

Last night, I ran out of hand soap from my dispenser in my bathroom. Thinking of a quick fix, I mixed some water with a sliver of a bar of soap. Then I thought, "If I were to heat this up, I could create a more homogeneous mixture."
Let me tell you a bit about myself: When I get an idea to do something, I usually try it. When I saw someone make a hot tub out of a coffee maker and some tubing, I tried it. Lets just say it worked, not perfectly, but it worked.

So, I added the mixture of water and bar of soap to my pot set to simmer. After a while, the whole bar of soap was gone. "Aha!", I thought "It is working." Then I thought, "If I simmer off most of the water, find a mold, I could make a bar of soap." I set off to do so.
After much searching, I found an old egg carton that I liberated of its top. After the water was simmered off of my soap mixture, I poured it into its little molds, then into the fridge it all went.

So, tonight I get my soap out of the fridge, and it is rigid and looking good. I take it to my bathroom looking forward to reaping my rewards. Only as we all know, looks can be deceiving. When I reach into the mold my hand just sinks into slime. The supposed Soap Bars are actually nasty half eggs of goo. Add to this that they are white and streaming down my hand...well, you can figure out where I am going with this.

In conclusion, I have made very convincing replications of semen. There are no words to describe how nasty it feels to scrub your hands with goo, but wait! By some strange chemical reaction, it isn't even acting like soap. No suds, so bubbles, no cleaning. Yes, I have made useless semen like goo.

{PICTS CUMING NOW}